misanthrope.

(via dirtyxygirl-deactivated20130502)

disgustinghuman:

I’m just stoked I cried tears of bile instead of actual tears because I am so tired of being the sad drunk.

(Source: batmaned, via jaefilth)

ryanhatesthis:

ukuleletvreviews:

How I Met Your Mother - “The Over-Correction”

Air Date: December 10, 2012

They’ve made Lilly really horny,
And still don’t know what to do with Barney,
They have him dating
That heavy-set woman named Patrice.

It’s pretty clear,
They’re running out of ideas.
Marshall used to be fat,
And now he’s thin again.
And Robin spent the episode
Trapped in the closet.
And of course,
No one really likes Ted.

They call it How I Met Your Mother,
But after 8 years we still haven’t.
It’s less a love story
And more just one guy
Listing women he’s had sex with
To his children in the future.

Grade: B-

I made a ~thing~

(Source: fortheloveofbeemo, via beardscience)

(Source: reclusively, via beardscience)

Need a laugh? This blog is just what you need!

(Source: algebraicjake, via awkwardbreakdown)